My dear old Volvo, about to incur a parking fine in the charming Norfolk market town of Fakenham
This post was inspired by two recent
events in my life. The first was the unlocking of my ageing Volvo from a distance
of about thirty yards using the remote control button on the key (normally
you have to be more like six inches away) and the second was a funeral.
First the unlocking thing: nothing remarkable about that, you might think
– you, I, everybody does it a dozen times a day, every day, without a
second thought. Yet if I were to travel back in time (taking my Volvo and its
key with me) and demonstrate that feat to my five-year-old self, that scruffy
little self would be utterly gobsmacked. It would seem like a
miracle – a real miracle – not just
some trick which seems baffling until you’re shown how it’s done, like when my
great-uncle Lorny made his teeth disappear, horrifying
us children until we were told by my mother that he wore dentures and had simply
removed them. It would seem miraculous because it employed forces which weren’t
fully understood and couldn’t be harnessed to our uses at that time. Yet remotely
unlocking a car, using a mobile, having this blog post simultaneously ignored
by millions of people all over the planet actually employs forces as natural
and logical as that which makes an apple fall from a tree and which are now as
familiar to us as the falling of said apple. Most of us still don’t understand
them, of course, but we’re prepared to accept that somebody in some hi-tech
factory does and to place our lives more and more trustingly in their hands. Those
forces are not really miraculous at all. Or are they?
As to the funeral, it took place in
the very tasteful chapel of a crematorium but was a first for me as it turned
out to be a ‘humanist’ funeral. The charming old lady in the coffin – my aunt-in-law
– was not a Christian and nor were her family, so it seemed inappropriate to
give her a Christian send-off. Nonetheless, I found it all rather disconcerting
at first, as I leafed through the order of service wondering which hymns they’d
chosen and finding only a recording of something by Enya – the musical equivalent
of very rich chocolate cake covered in honey and topped off with a dollop of
syrup. Now, to me a funeral just isn’t a funeral without a few of those dreadful
dirges delivered in that agonised, tuneless warble of which we English are such
masters before being informed by a
beaming vicar that the deceased is being embraced into the love of Christ. For
someone raised and educated in the Christian tradition there’s something
familiar and reassuring about it even if, like me, you’re a bit lapsed in the old
Christianity department. The proceedings were conducted by a very energetic
gentleman who described himself as a ‘humanist minister’ and, though he
fulfilled his task with warmth, dignity and feeling, he seemed a little vague
as to the destination (spiritually-speaking) to which we were dispatching the
deceased – not surprisingly, since it’s a subject which invokes vagueness in
most of us.
It seemed to me, thinking about it
afterwards, that my Christian education and upbringing had presented me with a
view of life and death in which our time on earth in human form – subject as we
are to the laws of nature – is somehow very material, very pot-bound, very limited
and limiting and, of course, all tied up with the idea that we are born sinful.
I’ve noticed that the clergy keep a bit quiet about original sin these days as
it’s not a very good selling point for Christianity but nonetheless it’s always
there, lurking in the background. Images like dust and ashes, common clay and mortal
coils abound in the scriptures, and the spirit – which is capable of eternal
life – is seen as separate, and separable, from the body which ages, dies and
decays. The true life of the spirit which awaits us is something we can only glimpse
occasionally beyond our corporeal confinement, through little gaps and
apertures – ‘We see through a glass darkly… ’ as St Paul – Jesus’ tireless PR
man – wrote to the Corinthians. We achieve eternal life by having faith in the
miracle of divine grace. I believe that – particularly with my generation –
this is a perception which is deeply embedded in the psyche even of those who
claim to have intellectually outgrown religion.
Yet it seems to me that this life,
this earth, this universe, is the
miracle. The evidence of that is all around us, from the bursting of a seed in
spring to the remote unlocking of my ancient Volvo. If an apple detached itself
from a tree and went upwards instead of downwards, it might be seen as a
miracle, but the fact that it falls to the ground is the real miracle, the fact
that the earth and moon and stars and galaxies are bound together in an eternal
dance by a force called gravity which is turning out to be stranger than anyone
could have imagined.
Human beings will always explore,
research and endeavour to explain the unexplainable then harness some of those
explanations to practical uses. If my grandchildren or greatgrandchildren (not
that I have any yet, I hasten to add) could travel back from fifty or a hundred
years in the future, the tricks they could show me would seem mind-bogglingly miraculous
to me. Teleporting? Taking a three-hour Ryanair flight to Mars using a wormhole
while one’s luggage lands up on Venus? Who knows? Yet mysteries will always
remain, even for them. No discovery will ever provide the final answer, only
lead on to new questions. Every child of every generation has looked up at the
stars and wondered what ultimately happens ‘out there’. How can the universe
just go on and on forever – billions upon billions of light years of it? Yet
there cannot be some sort of boundary, some perimeter fence around the universe
or – even if there could – what would lie beyond that? No one – child or professor of astrophysics armed with a
Higgs Boson – can get their head around it (however much they claim they can),
yet it now seems to me, at the ripe old age of 65, that it’s fitting that we
can’t. It is a mystery and that is how it should remain because mysteries are
good.
So what about the destination of
the dear old lady disappearing behind the tastefully closing curtains in the
crematorium? On the drive home from the funeral, my wife said, ‘I do hope I
don’t go to Heaven because I can’t face spending all eternity being criticised by
your mother.’ I suggested that things probably didn’t work like that but I wasn’t
speaking with any authority. The truth is I have no idea what happens when we
die and, to me, anyone who claims to know – and to force that knowledge on
others – is not only crassly stupid but guilty of the most dangerous and despicable
form of religious dogmatism. Then again, if this earth, and this life, is miraculous, maybe we are not simply extinguished. Maybe something else – something quite unexpected and even rather
amazing happens – like my unlocking my Volvo from thirty yards away.
Who knows? We just have to have faith in miracles – which should not be
difficult since they’re all around us.
Oh Pedro, this post has had me in stitches but also very touched. It's just wonderful and you are so right! The miracles are all around us every day. How could heaven better that? A beautiful, funny post that is so you. Tell your lovely wife to give you a huge hug on my behalf for making my evening! XX
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Val. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'll pass that message on to Lyndy. XXX
ReplyDeleteReally good post Peter. And great minds think alike: my Volvo estate is year 1988, older than yours I'd imagine, around 270,000 miles. Great writers clearly like volvo estates, lovely cars
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